Being faithful...

Most of the posts I write are very intentional. Sometimes I just want to lay my thoughts out on the table. I usually don't know what God wants from me personally. I know what He wants as far as what is in His Word. But past that is not always so clear. I think that is because we are not always called to specific things along the way. We are simply to be faithful to what is clear in Scripture. There is plenty there to follow. "Go make disciples," is a life long calling for all believers no matter what your position is in life and that is just one thing. If I'm not being faithful to God as a child of His, father to my kids, husband to my wife, and witness to those in my sphere of influence, then I'm missing the essentials. Besides, if God really wants me to do something specific then I'm sure it will be obvious, not a guessing game.

So, am I "called" to be a chaplain at a specific prison? Not that I know of at this point. Am I "called" to be a chaplain at all? I haven't seen a burning bush or anything so I would say maybe. I could be involved as a volunteer for the rest of my life while working in the business world. But, why would I want to spend 40 to 50 hours a week doing something that I don't enjoy. Some people love being a businessman, teacher, lawyer, or doctor. But, I love the prison ministry. It is an incredibly fulfilling and active ministry where lives are constantly changing. Therefore, I will just keep moving forward and try to be faithful to the things that I'm sure of and trust that God will let me know if He has any specifics. I'm excited to be a chaplain regardless of where I serve. But, the idea of York County Prison is exciting. Just think about it...

• The girl that I got into trouble with is now my wife.
• Her father, who called me an enemy of the family, now calls me son.
• The brothers that called the police on me are now my brothers and good friends.
• The Chaplain who ministered to me would mentor me into ministering to current inmates.
• The prison that kept me for a few months would be my mission field.
• From a Christian perspective, redemption has gone full circle.
• From a secular perspective, the ideal of corrections has reached its full potential.
• A changed life is now tangible.

Most of these things will still be the same where ever I serve, but not all. I don't mean to harbor on a door that is now shut, but I still hold out some hope. I am at peace with everything, but I can still pray for God to do what only He can. There aren't any other immediate openings for me at this point. I will continue to what I can for now, wait on what I must, and pray for it all.

walking by faith, even when I can't see

Following God can be a tricky business. There are so many things that can interfere like my own desires, fears, doubts, bad advice, misinterpretation of truth, and many more I'm sure. Some people have to follow God through tragedy before they reach the fulfillment of promise. I just was to look at a few examples.

• Abraham and Sarai promised a son- they were elderly when fulfilled
• Joseph called by God to be a great leader, even over his older brothers- fulfilled after 7 years of slavery and 7 more in prison
• David anointed to be King- pursued by Saul who wanted to kill him
• Jonah called to preach to a group of people he hated intensely
• Saul (Paul) convinced he was called by God to persecute Christians- became the greatest Christian evangelist and theologian of his time.
• Jesus promised to reign on David's throne in complete peace and prosperity- gave up his life for sinners and still waiting.

There are so many more examples in the Bible of people who knew what God's will was and it was really tough. There were people who thought they knew His will but tried to make it happen their way or were just way off. That is me right now. Everything that was going on in my life made it seem to me and others that God was orchestrating events for me to be a chaplain at York County Prison. Then, unexpected by all it fell apart. GNJP ministry is going to talk to me about placement opportunities elsewhere. This is a small thing compared to the examples I gave, but my journey is not complete. God knows where I can have the greatest impact and that I am willing to do whatever He wants me to do. The time that I have to serve Him on earth is limited and I see my life as worthless if I do anything else.

Of course I am disappointed and frustrated. I was planning on moving in three weeks and have been trying to sell my house since June. I put my notice in at work a few weeks ago. I was excited to start working in the prison. Jess and I were really looking forward to being with family.

But, I cannot see how it all will end. I cannot even see what is next, it may be so much better and we could be so much more excited. But, what if it wasn't? Who says it will be? I'm sure we can all list examples of Christians throughout the ages who didn't have it so good because of following God. Am I still willing to follow? As Christians, our hope is not in this life but in eternity. That is why Paul said that if what we believe is false, then Christians should be pitied more than all others. I don't know what's next. But, I will serve the Lord. Right now I feel like my life is up in air.

Now all I can do it wait...